Lost in Shadow Part 1 : Hercules, The Blood Moon, and What Led to 2025

 

 

This is going to be the first long post I have made in a while. I will explain some of what I have been dealing with along with the subjects of the post. None of the pictures in part 1 are mine. I have been unsure of what to do with this blog for sometime now. I wanted to continue making posts but they would of gotten increasingly darker over time and I did not want that. I wanted to be more positive. I didnt want to tell the same dark story and have been intuitively feeling that it is no longer my story but its still going on and it still has to be processed and released. Here is to the death of the dark story and the start of something much better for myself and everyone else and a new golden age for earth.

 

To understand me in 2025 you have to understand me in 2024 and what led to that year. I have always been different. I endured lots of dark and terrifying paranormal activity as a child along with narcissistic abuse. I also did a lot of normal kid stuff too. It was a daily back and forth kind of thing. I would be punished for talking about the paranormal things too. The first time I thought of death as a way out was around eight years old or so. That is not something any child should think about and I believe I survived it because kids can be very resilient and their is something different about my soul. I was meant to experience it and survive.

 

Society always seemed off to me. I always felt like an outsider and it only became more pronounced into my teens, yet I was usually the well liked well respected outsider. I had friends in every social circle who thought highly of me but I never quite fit into those circles. I was always the visitor who never felt at home. It felt good to not be alone for a little while but I always knew it would be time to leave them soon. When that part of the story was over we said goodbye and they often kind of knew. 

 

In the mid 2000s I was about 15 years old and had noticed for a while a lot of dark things in the people and society around me. I became angry and began questioning things. There were times where those around me could tell I was different and treated me well for it. They saw the light in me and I saw it in them. Other times I was always made out to be wrong or the villain by my parents and others and I knew they were wrong. I was the one who meant well and only wanted to do right by myself and by god and not have confrontation with the other people.

 

I would experience disappointing things but I would be hit very hard by it as I was extremely emotionally sensitive. I got close to someone in eleventh grade and felt such a strong bond and love for them but they were taken and it felt so horrible. It felt like such an incredible loss of a loved one. This happened more than once. I was well into becoming cold on the outside with a subtle controlled rage and quiet intensity but I never lost my emotion, compassion, and softhearted nature. I was still there on the inside. My inner chaos and storm was also forming. Everything I felt and experienced building into a very intense inner storm that would either destroy me or be dealt with. It has always been there and is hard to explain. I might make a future post on it.
 

By senior year 2008 to 2009 I had deep dived into the alternative media and really started the waking up process. I already had trouble blending into the matrix society and it only grew from there. I felt such a strong aversion to anything matrix oriented like the obsession with smartphones and other gadgets, fake relationships and loveless hook ups, wage slaving for the globalists, and interacting with matrix people whos lives revolved around those things or other matrix things like sports, politics, religion, and fake tribalism. It became more and more difficult to deal with asleep people. 

 

By 2010 after graduating high school I began recalling all of the repressed paranormal and narcissistic trauma from my childhood and early teens which is still ongoing. New paranormal activity blew up. I had to endure and deal with it the best I could.

 

I made money by working for family and friends of family. Rent was very cheap living with my parents so I usually did okay with money even though I didnt make much. My life was basically a back and forth of these things; alt media studying, shadow work, recovering repressed things, new paranormal experiences and trauma, work, and immersing in good food, tv, video games, reading, art, and lots of exercise for mental health and also as some sort of comfort and reprieve from things that most could not of handled. 

 

I had no social life other than my younger brother and our dog for a while. I had to be very careful interacting with matrix people because when speaking to them it was like my voice would start to shut off and my brain would short circuit. It was very embarrassing and I had to get up and excuse myself from restaurants because I could not order food as just one example of many. I feel it was because of the bad energy in them and also from them saying one thing while meaning something else as people do. I was supposed to stay away from them. This is not so much a problem anymore but it was pretty bad for about a decade. 

 

 

 

I had some younger friends in my early twenties, around 23 years old which was around 2013 to 2014, who I would talk with sometimes. This was also the time where I had my best experience, a Pleiadian contact. Because of the age difference these younger friends and myself gave each other some space and respect and would actually listen to each other which many wont do. I was probably emotionally and in other ways closer to them then to people my own age. I liked them and it felt good to talk about things and they liked when someone listened but again I was the outsider and it had to end eventually. 

 

I kept getting the feeling that the next stage of my life I would have to do alone. It was around this time ( 2015 ) as I lost my last social circle and really my last connection in many ways to the matrix society that our dog who I was very close with had her puppy in a very complicated pregnancy. He was the only puppy of the litter and he was enormous. The other few were stillborn. It seemed fated and it also seemed that he was special. 

 

His mother Lady was always a good and sweet dog and was a like a little sister. I enjoyed walking her and could give her a hug or lie on the ground with her and hold her. I had a lot of pain and loneliness in my teens and twenties and I miss holding her now. I believe she gave us a gift knowing that this war between good and evil would last a long time and that she would pass on. 

 

Pets do a lot of good. They can be powerful lightworkers. They show love and compassion to their owners who are often not shown these things. The owners show them love and compassion which they are conditioned not to show to other people. Pets also absorb bad energy and even illness from people. Dogs and cats used to charge at me as a child like they were trying to chase something away from me. They were probably chasing away dark entities. 

 

Her puppy grew to be a sweet and loving happy male dog. My family moved during summer 2015 and took the dogs with them. I lost my circle of younger friends at the exact same time. There was also the young woman mentioned in my Ukrainian, mercenary, and deja vu posts who just vanished around this time as well. It all came at the same time and again seemed completely fated. I would visit my parents and the dogs would become hysterical after not seeing me for a week or two. Hercules was like a younger brother. 

 

In 2017 I moved back in with them. There was nothing and no one for me in the older neighborhood anymore. There was nothing and no one in the matrix society that would fulfill me. Everything involving career paths or social life just felt so off and repelled me and I didnt fight it. I lived like a monk in many ways in a spiritual isolation with intermittent work and interaction with the matrix society.  

 

 

 

I loved walking the dogs at night. We would listen to owls hoot and screech and Hercules knew the word owl because I would say owls when we heard them. They would fly low over the road and we would watch. Ever since moving to this rural suburb I have had quite a few strange owl experiences. Other paranormal experiences have described strange owl experiences too. The baby owls would perch on fences and sing and we would stop and listen to them as well. At night before I got my shower I would lie with the dogs and pet them and hold them. I had no one to hold and it made a difference. Hercules loved being touched and scratched under his neck. He loved swimming and hunting as well.

In early 2018 I read through the onvampires site as well as Shane the Ruiners blog. Shane is a cabal insider and the onvampires site is not a larp like the majority of info on the subject. I read one or two posts nearly every day from each until I was finished. I was fascinated by the onvampires site and thought about parts of it almost daily on and off for a long time trying to place them within the world and within the cabal and archon network. I would find out later why I couldnt stop thinking about it all.

 

By 2018 Lady was not doing well. Her pregnancy with Hercules had been complicated and she was having trouble walking. She had lots of tumors one in particular was very bad and bulging out of her side under her ribs. She had scabs on her stomach that were spreading up to her back and bleeding. She would pee the dog bed at night and had trouble getting up at all. 

 

The veterinarian gave her two rounds of very expensive dog steroids over four months. The vet said that it didnt work and she might last another year. She was only ten. After a few months I figured I would try something. I had a decent understanding of nutrition and knew how bad dog kibble is. I decided to feed her organ meats because of the high nutritional content. The standard beef kidney was a dollar and forty cents a pound which made it the cheapest meat at the store but it was still far better than kibble. It could have toxins because of the factory animal farming but would still have enormous amounts of nutrition just like liver. She didnt like liver anyways so kidney it was. 

 

A week of every month I switched one of her two daily kibble meals with slices of kidney including the raw fat underneath. She wolfed large pieces down so I figured it had something she needed. It ended up being about a few pounds a month for around five dollars replacing a seventh to an eighth of her kibble. I noticed she looked happier and was getting up faster after a couple of months. She stopped peeing the bed. 

 

It wasnt till around five months though that it really hit me how much better she was. I was lying on the grass in the backyard. The dogs were lying nearby. One of them ran and jumped over me. I thought it was Hercules for a second but he was still lying down. Lady could barely walk just five months before. I looked her over sometime after. Most of the tumors were gone and the scabs were now just tiny and on her stomach. We had been going for mile walks too. 

 

I believe this next part happened the night of January 20th, 2019 around 10 PM. I took part in a mass meditation during the supermoon bloodmoon that was happening. My parents were usually very noisy and up late and my brother and his girlfriend were terrible and just like my parents were noisy, disruptive, and always with loud TVs and phones on. On this night they all fell asleep at the same time with their electronics off before the meditation. It was like something was watching out for me and put them to sleep. 

 

After the meditation I went outside with Hercules. The energy was very still and calm like the world had paused. The traffic was lighter on the main roads off in the distance. I dont recall any mosquitos bothering me or frogs jumping around. I laid a towel out and lied on it and watched the moon filling with a red orange color. Hercules would normally go off and use the bathroom or sniff around but instead he very calmly stood with me the whole time. He came over and sat down and gently pressed his body against my right leg. Eventually my parents woke up and came outside. but they were calm and quiet and it was a very interesting night. I went inside and my brother and his girlfriend were now up and quiet as well.

 

The dogs, especially Hercules, would experience something I know all too well. One of my most common type of dark paranormal attacks was in the form of out of body experiences in which I would struggle to get back in my body and wake up. It is a horrible and helpless feeling that also comes with feelings of being attacked, struck, strangled, and suffocated sometimes with entities like soldier demons face to face with you. I have even felt their breathe out of body. When I fight it and fight it and eventually wake up there would often be dark entities in the room and a very strong feeling of their presence which was never good. 

 

It was a very common occurrence to hear Hercules whimpering and kicking in his sleep. He could growl, bark, whimper, or howl a long helpless terrified howl that was just terrible to hear. I would rush into the main room of the house where he usually slept and try to wake him up. Sometimes he would be hysterical and whimper and rush me to be pet and comforted. I would say bad dream, which my parents started to say to him when they would wake him up, and he would almost groan yes in response and show me his head and neck to be pet. I would have to take him outside to walk around for a while. The following day if you looked at him and asked 'bad dream?' he would do the same thing. I knew exactly what he was going through. 

 

On Friday March 20th, 2020 sometime in the early morning I heard the dog whimpering in his sleep and went to wake him up. I arrived at his bed to find a dark shadowy figure looming over him as he kicked in his sleep and tried to call for help. As I showed up it quickly shot away out of the house. It could have been a soldier demon and attacking the dog out of body. The dogs had been taking attacks, probably for me, and I would feel immense guilt for it later.  

 

I had a really bad year in 2021 which is saying something because I never had good years. There was about ten days in February of 2021 where I felt empty, total hopelessness and despair, totally ungrounded, and in a deep sorrow. It is very difficult to describe the extreme cold emptiness. The closest I have seen is in the films The Passion of the Christ and maybe Jesus of Nazareth when Jesus if pleading with god the night before the crucifixion and also up on the cross asking god to forgive his persecutors. 

 

My mind raced through lots of negative things and how lonely and isolated I was and how lonely and isolated I always felt around others and trying to live in the matrix society before. I would pray and try and communicate with the light forces and just feel a love for the nature around me, for the light beings, for the dogs, and for humanity in general. I hardly ate and couldnt do much at all and lost about ten pounds. It happened for around four days that summer too and I had to go to the hospital. I just wanted to die.

 

2022 was overall a lot better. I noticed the shadow work paying off for me and started feeling better. I had my tachyonis stones almost glued to my body and started noticing improvements there. I even had some crystals for the dogs too and the attacks on them and myself lessened. I didnt have the ups and downs I had always experienced with emotions and the extreme hopelessness and despair. 

 

2022 was more so me doing things I enjoyed but with the paranormal and shadow work not being nearly as harsh. I had enough bad experiences with people and women that I strongly held the view of dont worry about friends and women, just do what I have to do day to day and trust in the light and the event. I lived sort of like a monk or hermit but without a church or religious order. The dark was always at war with me but I had no military to join. With the exposure of movements, ideologies, and organizations as being super corrupt, flawed, and part of the control of humanity I had to do it on my own. This is the modern monk, warrior priest, and mystic. 

 

I wasnt ashamed to watch a movie or play a video game sometimes to get away from other things but as usual I would see the symbols and archetypes in the media was consuming. I would see paranormal things in media and recall experiences from a new angle or I would feel them and discover something new about them. The self reflection and learning never really stopped. This is when I began recovering memories of vampires in my childhood...the exact same vampires described in the onvampires site I read in 2018. That is probably why I could not stop thinking about it. On to part 2.